‘Many,’ responded Don Quixote, ‘but few who deserve to be called knights.’"
_____
Just when Bunter thought he had love and romance all figured out, Caprice confused him once again. He'd tried to show her he understood about building lasting relationships, but she still didn't think he was ready for a commitment. Something told him that wooing Caprice was going to take a while.
Bunter decided he might as well check in with the Brethren of the Woeful Countenance. They'd been quite amazed by his report on the goings-on at the Tower. Of course, he hadn't mentioned any treasure; they probably would have demanded he hand it over. But maybe the Brethren had another lucrative job for him.
The Woefuls met over the old grocery store near the dock. They were a small lodge in Rinn Fada--for reasons that became clearer to Bunter the more he associated with them.
Bunter: Fitz? You're a member of the Brethren?
Fitz: After being released from servitude to the vampire, I sought refuge among the Woeful Countenances. I've risen quickly in rank.
Bunter: I can see that. You're wearing the Golden Amulet. Congratulations.
Fitz: And it was I who encouraged the Brethren to give you a chance. You are brazen, Brother Bunter, but you are brave.
Bunter: Nicely phrased, Fitz. ...And yes, I remember now...you yourself are a coward.
Fitz (clearing throat): Well, the Brethren sometimes need certain knightly qualities not often found among we dedicated men of science.
Bunter: Oh sure. I get that. We all have our skills and whatnot.
Bunter: How can I be of assistance to the Brethren. Any adventurous quests available?
Fitz: There is one dangerous situation that has come to our attention. Can you boat, Brother Bunter? And can you swim?
Bunter: Absolutely! I can fish too. What's the mission?
Fitz: A monster has been seen in the waters surrounding Rinn Fada. And it has destroyed two sailing vessels. Fortunately no one has been hurt so far.
Bunter thinks: (This breed of creature often guards treasure. I'm in luck!)
Fitz: But I warn you, the Brethren feel that only one with the purest of heart can battle this creature. The two sailboats destroyed belonged to some rather shady characters. We believe the monster is drawn to those of baser dispositions.
Bunter: Well, there you go then. I'm your man. I'm kind of a hybrid when it comes to character. I've got plenty of chivalrous virtues to stand against the beast, while still possessing enough nasty habits to actually lure it to me! It's a Win-Win. What do you think?
Fitz: Brother Bunter, what is the nature of your, uh, nasty habits?
Bunter: Ok. I guess you need to ask that question. Confession time, right? ...First off, I do have a temper and a tendency to fight. I have sort of a history when it comes to battles. But surely you can see that's a good thing for a knight. ...All right then, something else. I confess I'm attracted to women. But only one right now, Caprice Spritan. She's special, sweet and kind. So another positive, don't you think?
Fitz: Your relationship with this Spritan woman is platonic then?
Bunter: ...
Fitz: Oh, this will never do! Never! A Brother of the Woeful Countenance must remain set apart!
Bunter: You're a serious loner. I realize that now. I don't think you quite understand the issue for someone like me--you know, someone not of your tough scientific temperament. ...Give me a chance. I can do this job.
Fitz: Well, the decision is not entirely up to me, Brother Bunter. You will need to present your case before the Brethren tomorrow at congregation. I suggest you practice a convincing speech outlining your qualifications. Otherwise, we'll have to bring in someone from another lodge.
Bunter: My Brethren! I come before you, a humble knight errant willing to battle demons and monsters in the name of all Woeful Countenances everywhere!
