With the McCormack twins safely tucked into their new home and the other roommates settled, Piers and Bunter discussed plans for dealing with Christine Meaney the Vampire. His Lordship, being a modern civilized sort of fellow, had laid down certain ground rules.
1. No wooden stakes through the heart.
2. No chopping off of heads.
3. No exposure to harsh sunlight.
4. Exorcism was a possibility, but neither Piers nor Bunter was sure about the Church of England's stance on the subject, so that was out too.
5. Potions and elixirs were considered. However, Piers hadn't found anything of use in town, nor did he have the skills to create something himself.
But then Bunter pointed out that, actually, vampirism really wasn't the trouble anyway.
Piers: How so?
Bunter: Well, sir. Every race, occult, species, and gender have their good and their bad, so to speak. As you well know, my own kind can be quite nasty at times, though most have evolved into more benevolent beings. And yet, we still struggle against our baser nature.
Piers: A valid point, old man. We humans also battle our inner demons. ...So, in Miss Meaney's case, the issue is her character, not her occult or her traits.
Bunter: As I see it, yes, M'Lord. Miss Meaney's sole purpose in life is to gain power and victimize others.
Piers: Mmm. We do have a problem. As I mentioned before, Bunter, we just are not equipped to deal with this level of criminal. But I've heard of a place that is. It might be exactly what Miss Meaney requires.
Bunter: The colonies, sir?
Piers: Uh, no. This area is located in a dark, secluded region not found on maps. Best not to mention its exact location though.
Bunter: Ahh. I believe I know the village.
At this point, Piers and Bunter decided that the vampire would somehow need to be brought to the manor and exported secretly to this Dark Village. Piers was convinced that hypnosis was what they needed and willingly experimented on himself.
But Bunter had his own ideas about getting Christine to the manor. He decided to do a preliminary trial run.
Too bad he was not in his top form, thanks to the turmoil over his lost love life. Most men wouldn't worry so much over such matters, but Bunter held his love life in high regard. He was just not the same without it.
So maybe he came on a little too sensitive when he broke down and cried on his enemy's shoulder. She certainly hadn't expected that from him! (Me either. This was Bunter's doing, not mine!)
Christine tried to reestablish boundaries by reminding Bunter of her Master Plot for Domination of Rinn Fada. He let her talk.
But Bunter had felt a certain response from Christine when he'd held her. Being the Perceptive man he was, he decided to go with his instincts. Or was that his baser nature?
Christine was disarmed and Bunter was feeling victorious already. Maybe battling this vampire wasn't going to be so bad after all.
Then her minion showed up. Fitz. Just great. Bunter decided it wouldn't be Proper to lock the guy in the basement. Christine probably wouldn't approve.
So he asked her to go with him to the nearby pub. Sure, it was a public place. But he'd had some successful romances lately while out and about.
Take those leaf piles, for instance. They had possibilities.
But as he danced with Christine and looked straight into her eyes, his mind reeled. A memory shot through him. He remembered her!
Christine: What is it?
Bunter: When we first met, you said you knew me. From a long time ago.
Christine: Yes, the battle djinni. Majid Bahador.
Bunter: I remember now. That dungeon in the castle. I was sent down to finish off any vampires I found.
Christine: But you found only me.
Bunter: You were so afraid. I could tell you'd just been turned.
Christine: You let me go.
Bunter: I let you go.
Bunter was confused. What was he going to do now? He had once let a vampire live, and now she was terrorizing a town. And yet...
Bunter: Good night, Christine.
Christine: You're sending me home?
Bunter: For now. I'll see you tomorrow evening.
Christine: More djinni tricks, demon?
Bunter: Try me and see.
When Bunter had broken up with Ruth and with Clodagh, he'd renewed his promise to keep them safe. He would not go back on that vow. But he'd also made a promise, a long time ago, not to hurt a frightened lost soul. He'd keep that oath as well. He just hoped His Lordship knew what he was about with his talk of the Dark Village.
